When the Wizard of Cheeseheads asked me to write here, he told me that I had free reign to write whatever I wanted. He wasn’t even concerned that I write about football. There are no rules at the Whiz! I was pretty happy and started planning articles about beer, Tijuana, strippers, dwarf tossing, oil wrestling. The opportunities are endless!

I feel like Michael Irvin at the Cowboys’ “White House.” I’m like Taz at a steakhouse buffet. I’m like Rock playing Scrabble. Anything goes!

But given that FF Whiz is a fantasy football site, I ought to write a little about football. So here it goes:

Why is Joey Porter punching out offensive linemen at a blackjack table at the Palms in Vegas?

Porter is notoriously confrontational, and the incidents have been colorful and numerous. In December, he made headlines when he referred to Kellen Winslow, Jr. with a homosexual slur. In 2004, he was ejected from a game for beating down running back William Green BEFORE a game between the Steelers and Browns. (How do you get ejected from a game that hasn’t started? ) At first glance, Porter’s arrest seems like typical Joey Porter behavior.

But not so fast with the suspension, Commissioner Dredd. I have a reasonable doubt.

Before we throw the shackles on Joey, we ought to take a look at the other guy; Cincinnati offensive tackle, Levi Jones. The 6’5” offensive tackle is three inches taller and 57 pounds heavier than Porter. The two have a history of mixing it up on the field, and, like Porter, Jones is no angel off the field. In 2004, he was arrested after attempting to wrestle a nightstick from a police officer during the arrest of another patron in a Houston nightclub. But the real reason to suspect that Levi was the instigator? He’s a Bengal.

Sounds like self-defense to me.